1. Finding God; finding you

Not knowing who you are predisposes you to many risk factors. Not knowing who you are while in your midlife not only puts you at crisis, but also in double jeopardy! Has it been worth it so far? Is there more? Why am I doing this? Is this for me? Is this my purpose? Why am I pursuing this? Can I still do this? Have I lost myself? More questions than answers have been the order of the day but giving them much thought and consideration has led me to answer them carefully and non-impulsively. I made many great as well as not so great choices in my early life and am grateful and optimistic about this opportunity to impact my mid life from the lessons learned. Something about this new leaf really has me excited; a perspective which fills me with hope and highlights God’s goodness.

You see, I wasn’t always able to see God’s goodness until I made the decision to know Him. In order to know Him, I had to find out who I really was, a truth I was only able to unfold by believing that I was a child of God, created in His very image and that I am good! Surely, there were quite a few things I didn’t like about myself, but if this loving God still found me fit and lovable just as I was, then I had to give this love affair a shot! It’s no bed of roses (it takes a lot of patience to crucify this flesh), but one sure thing about the lover of my soul is that He is faithful! He is patient, He waits on me; ready to hear me pour my needs, wants and desires, even when am such an open book. He enjoys hearing me speak, understanding every word, every mourn, every groan and when His love becomes too overwhelming for me to speak, every gesture, every sign and every movement matters to Him. He sees each tear that falls, and carefully collects it in a bottle, then hides me under the shadow of His wing, where the devil cannot find me. He will never leave me nor forsake me, His mercies are new every morning, He has imprinted my face on the palm of His hand (swoon), what an adorable tattoo! He is kind, merciful and passionate.

When I apologize, He inarguably accepts and keeps no record of my wrongs. As a matter of fact, He dumps them into the sea of forgetfulness. With His life, He paid an eternal ransom for mine! I am no longer a slave to sin, fear, worry, shame, guilt, and so many other lies that the enemy of my soul feeds me on a daily basis! His love wins every time! Yes, His love, for me and for you. I have tasted and seen that this my Lord, as Priscilla Shirer would say, is “mmh, mmh, good”. Dare to taste Him!

Our nature as children of God is indispensable. We owe it to ourselves to believe that! He is our ultimate source! The great I AM, with whom nothing is impossible! Waiting upon Him is costly, especially when moments of hopelessness, despair, heartache, loss, turmoil, rejection, anger, self righteousness, worry, fear, defeat, et cetera creep in. But hang on, the anchor still holds! Several of my dreams have tarried, but I also have testimonies of timely miracles especially this year that have me totally sold out! Though He used fellow men like you and I to accomplish them, they were absolutely no human effort! God’s thumbprint was all over them!

These miracles have been legitimate grounds for me to remind Him of His faithfulness. What He has done before, I have no doubt that He will do again. I just need to believe and keep working towards every dream and desire and trust Him to accomplish them in His time, will and purpose! It’s been amazing to apply this same principle to every aspect of my life; seeking God in faith and waiting while listening for specific instructions. I am not quite there yet, but I purpose not to live another day saying, “If only I had done this sooner!”

No matter how nugging the questions or how overwhelming the motions. No matter how often you roll your eyes every time someone tells you that God will come through for you, just keep the faith. It’s okay to feel weary, then acknowledge it and in remembering His promise, work towards renewing your strength! He is faithful!

2. Loving yourself

You become a natural at self love when you know who you are, unmasking potential beyond your wildest imagination! Being given all things, means complete, lacking in nothing! It means making mistakes, but trusting yourself enough to eventually make the right choices! It means contentment. The presumably natural and greener grass on the other side will cost you an arm and a leg, try buying an organic beef burger! Not to say that you shouldn’t dream bigger, no, He says to find contentment with godliness as you wait is indeed great gain! No matter how slow the process, find it!

As a wife, loving my man stems from loving myself. Whilst his love and affirmation are healthy for our relationship, knowing that I am already accepted in the beloved confidently positions me for my role; embracing every compliment and calmly keeping an open mind and appreciating his point of view when constructive criticism hits hard. To understand that my expectations are his very expectations is a game changer. Loving him requires stepping into his shoes and offering every bit of what I expect from him; selflessness. It’s not a give and take kind of situation, but rather a give and give! God’s Grace is sufficient.

As a friend; I am either one or not, period!

Loving others means living up to your own expectations without expecting others to do the same! Accepting other people’s strengths and failures without passing judgement means loving with intent. God has freely given each one of us the opportunity to do so! Therefore, whether loving your spouse, children, parents, friends, coworkers, neighbors or strangers, you are the perspective! Love yourself enough to love others well.

3. Staying healthy

Knowing who you are means loving yourself enough to desire a healthy lifestyle. When it comes to taking care of the body as a temple, one can never be too careful! Taking risks in pursuit of success is a lifestyle. Rewarding or not, life should never at any one time be considered a gamble! Jesus paid too high a price to deny ourselves the full measure of abundant living!

When dressing up to go out with the hubs on day 4 of turning 40, a funny thought sparked as I struggled to slide my skinny jeans up my hips. Despite a few inevitable health issues over the past several years, I would like to think that I have been in pretty good shape, physically (knock on wood). I wouldn’t quite say that I owe it to healthy eating and exercise, in fact, based on the amount of food I consume on a daily basis, my husband often jokes about giving credit to ‘my fantastic metabolism’. Guess what? He might be right! Lately, the struggle has been real! I can no longer eat whatever I want, fail to exercise and get away with it! Metabolism indeed does slow down with age and though I feel good, I must admit that I have been packing on the pounds! The running track is calling!

Recently, my dad got admitted to the ICU. I thank God that he’s back home now and recuperating. To the best of my knowledge, in all my Forty years, (with the exception of our births), neither of my parents has taken ill to the point of hospitalization. Wow! So much to be grateful for! My parents are pretty independent, but as I watched my mom take care of my dad, I couldn’t help but be concerned about how to take good care of myself, so as to take better care of them. Mom is big on smoothies, and I mean, she goes all out; having about 15 ingredients, a combination of fruits and mostly vegetables, her favorite being ginger! Hubby and dad joke that all that combination may cause us more harm than good, but they keep drinking and mom keeps making it and well, they are all fine! I remember her bringing it over to the hospital and sharing it with dad’s nurses, as well as visiting friends and well wishers. They all drank it with so much joy that mom kept bringing more! A hospital room smoothie party that lasted a fortnight!

Conclusion; mom makes the best unsweetened smoothies in town! I am gradually acquiring the taste and hoping that our not so little anymore girl will tag along! I mean, where did the time go? My niece is all grown up and helping take care of my parents, yet I still constantly worry as to whether or not she’s making the right choices towards succeeding in life (like drinking mom’s smoothies), look how long it took me! But I guess that’s what parenting is all about; a lifetime commitment! I learned from the best! And to think of all the cradle years ahead! It doesn’t seem like I will be getting out of this Sandwich Generation any time soon! Here’s to a lifetime of smoothies! God indeed has a sense of humor! His grace truly is sufficient!

There you have it, boost your health by investing in things that make you happy; read, write, exercise, meditate, go for routine medical check-ups, know your body, pray, fast, volunteer, donate to charities, help the poor, travel, shop, throw parties, get a haircut, grow it back, spa, tell stories, love, forgive, have faith, live in peace with everyone and drink more smoothies!

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
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Hebrews‬ ‭11:1‬ ‭NKJV

#faith&fear