FACES OF WOMEN THAT HAVE THE DEVIL FOOLED

IMAGE CREDIT: PEXELS

Mary, a high school freshman, has just received her first menstrual period while in class, soils her clothes and gets ridiculed by her peers! Their remarks overpower her, rendering every effort from her teacher and family to see this as a ‘special phase’ in her life futile! She quickly becomes envious of her cousin Sophia who had been lucky enough to get her period while at home, a few months prior, surrounded by her Mom and older twin sisters Carrie and Kerrie. She had been sheltered in loving care and kindness which helped her embrace this scary yet important milestone in her life!

Mary becomes withdrawn. She develops an inferiority complex and becomes a victim of bullying. Insecure and alone, she sets up a wall, which hastily comes down in Junior High, when a boy shows keen interest! For the first time in a long time, she comes alive again. Soon after, she becomes pregnant and drops out of school to raise a child while still a child herself. She’s afraid and disappointed!

In one of her prenatal appointments, Mary meets a young woman who has been married for a couple of years and had recently miscarried her first set of twins! Two months later, she conceives again and is now worried sick from the bleeding she notices that morning while taking a shower. For a minute there, Mary wishes they could switch places, but quickly recognizes her thoughts as a sign of fear, and quickly reconsiders. It could be worse. Then she meets another friend, a peer, and just when she begins to get excited about having someone to share her journey with, her new friend drops the bombshell that she’s there to terminate her second pregnancy. Her friend’s wrong choices have led her here and no matter what she knows and believes to be true, she just cannot have this baby, not now, not when a life filled with dreams and endless possibilities lies ahead of her!

Mary remembers her fifty two year old aunt Judy’s bewilderment from a couple of years back, holding her first baby, a boy, whom she had had through a surrogate after twenty years of marriage. He is still Mary’s only male cousin. Then the drama that would later unfold after the surrogate mother suffered from a severe case of postpartum depression! Aunt Judy took her in and cared for her alongside her newborn baby! What a big heart she must have had! Mary thought. At thirty years old, aunt Judy was the last of her friends to get married. She kept their entire family’s ribs cracking from laughter every Christmas morning, running under the tree to check whether santa had finally found her a ‘nice man’ to marry. Alienated by her friends as a result of their dwindling commonality, her world begun to get very lonely, until uncle Job came along and swept her off her feet that same year, with his European accent! He had wrapped the engagement ring and left it under the tree just as she had wished over the years! It was indeed a dream come true and remains the best christmas yet!

Aunt Judy was also the reason why Mary had decided to keep her baby. Having struggled with infertility for half her life without any prior history of reproductive issues, she had said to Mary, “I know you had not prepared for this baby to come this early boo, but the fact remains that you are pregnant! From where I stand, that’s a good thing. Consider this a blessing and have this baby now when the odds are in your favor child. There’s no telling what the future holds. You are better off having this child than not. Live for today.”

Mary’s day dream is cut short when another woman comes running from across the hall, hands and clothes soaked in blood, screaming and shouting while attempting to pull her hair off. She has just lost her only child through a tragic road accident and no one seems able to calm her down. It’s too devastating for Mary to watch as the woman’s husband desperately pleads with the doctors to give her ‘something to help her calm down!’

Mary thinks of her Dad, as tears begin to stream down her face. He had suffered multiple complications from a severe spinal cord injury during a skiing accident and succumbed after being in a coma for eleven months! She was only eight, but still remembers how her Mom spent all of her days caring for their Dad without neglecting her children. It was the saddest day of their lives when he died. She missed him dearly, and though his death kind of tore her family apart, she was glad that he suffered no more.

Overcome by grief, Mary’s mother and her brother in law Dave (her late husband’s brother), become trapped in a dangerous extramarital affair! It is the beginning of the end of everything they have both worked so hard to love and protect. Eventually, she suffers from severe depression and does a good job hiding it from everyone at first, but the pain, shame and guilt are too much for her to bear. After she cancels their biweekly breakfast date for the third time in a row, her best friend Joan, notices her out of character behavior and realizes that something must be terribly wrong. Heeding her intuition, Joan immediately takes off for her friend’s house, only to catch her in time to attempt throwing in the towel on life! Joan confiscates all the pills from her friend and gets her help. She’s not particularly thrilled about her friend’s choices, but her highly, socially and morally upright character, has to count for something. Soon, she discovers that her friend is really at a very dark place. Despising the backlash from angry and disappointed family and friends, Joan chooses to refrain from further insulting her friend’s already injured and compromised integrity. She stands by her and helps her through her healing journey.

It doesn’t come as a surprise to Joan when her noble act is not warmly received by everyone. She has been preparing for this moment since the day she decided to stand by her friend, allowing God to be her sole advocate. Mary’s mom hates to see her friend in this position and wishes she could take all this away somehow, but she can’t. Forgetting the former things and moving on as forgiven and loved, has been a hard pill to swallow, but she has to accept this as the only reality as to how God sees her. She’s made peace with God and hopes that her family and friends will find it in their hearts to forgive her.
She is, however, certain of one thing; that she has a true friend in Joan. If not for her own, then she will have to spend the rest of her life protecting Joan’s honor for the kindness bestowed upon her. The two friends stick together and find the courage to hold their heads up while living in spirit and in truth. They are both co-founders of MLP Corp Voluntary Counselling and Testing Centers for HIV/AIDS.

By the time of her father’s demise, Mary’s eldest sister Molly, was at a crucial stage of development. Transitioning through puberty, identity crisis and the loss of a father were an absolute nightmare! Molly desperately needed her mother but she was absent, completely blindsided by her own selfish desires! Unable to cope, Molly migrated to Europe, to live with her aunt.

Mary’s cousin Carrie, (Uncle Dave’s daughter), is an Ivy League College Freshman. Despite multiple attempts from Mary’s Mom and Joan at LMP Corp, Carrie continues to be a runaway child and remains adamant about not returning home. It’s not at all conducive for her asthma, but her twin sister’s recent demise is rather hard to comprehend. Consumed by her own mess and lost to depression, Kerrie jumps off the bridge! Carrie blames herself and her parents for not paying enough attention to her sister. Their Dad had always pushed them to study hard and take advanced classes in school. He had had a rough upbringing, and missed out on his opportunity to become what he would have wanted to in life. Every time he asked his daughters what they desired to become when they grew up, Kerrie would enthusiastically shout, “Fashion Designer!”, but her Dad would always replace that with “Doctor, Lawyer, Engineer, etc.”

Their Mom was always open to whatever interested their daughters so much that she at one time surprised Kerrie with a venture to Europe in fashion pursuit, but her Dad would still insist that fashion should remain secondary to ‘a more realistic career!’ Kerrie would spend most of her time sketching outfits and anything else that her brilliant mind would conjure. She was also eventually accepted into one of the most elite colleges of design in the country and seemed to have been doing pretty well. She was determined to prove her Dad wrong. But she’s gone too soon now and he can’t bring her back! He must try a different approach with the remaining two; stop living vicariously through them.

Carrie is bitter and angry and no amount of love or affection from her parents is able to fill the void! How could they not know? How could she not? She hates them! She hates herself! She wants to die, but is holding on to an unknown source of strength. It’s packaged with fear, but the fact that she’s still surviving, calls for a glimmer of hope! For now, she just wants to be left alone.
Carrie enjoys the comfort that strolling up and down the streets bring. No one is in her business. No one has to tell her about the loving God whom in her perception, has just killed her twin sister, and given her mom cancer. “Mom is already too stressed out from the cancer diagnosis to handle a depressed and HIV positive daughter. At least she’ll be left with one smart and brilliant daughter who likes school and values life. My absence will make it easier for everyone because no one should ever have to bear the burden of my mistakes.” Read an excerpt from her twin Sister’s suicide note. Shortly following her sister’s death, Carrie had wondered at what point the cookie had crumbled really, but here lay her answer! How unfair and wrong Kerrie had been! Carrie thought as she sat under the huge walnut tree in the middle of the shelter for the homeless. This is where she comes to relax with her books and music after her meals, then waits for darkness to creep in and sneak back into her parent’s house and out again at the earliest dawn! She thinks that she has everyone fooled, but never wonders why no one comes looking for her any more!

Deeply consumed in her thoughts that cool Sunday evening, knees to her chest and arms around her knees, a voice startles her, “Hey, what are you reading today?” Carrie turns to see a shabbily dressed young man, not much older than she was, peeking his head from the opposite side of the tree. She had seen him and his two friends, a girl and boy get food a couple of times at the shelter before, but had never talked to any of them. “None of your business.” Carrie replies. “Trouble at home?” The young man asks. Pausing for a while, Carrie says, “ I’d rather not talk about it. What are you doing here anyway?” “I came home two weeks ago from school to find an eviction notice on our door. My Mom took my younger sister and told me to stay put, till she got back. She’s been gone a while now, and doesn’t know that the landlord put me out last week. He knows that I work part time and thinks that am just buying us more time by lying about Mom’s whereabouts.” Says the young man. “You are joking right?” Carrie asks. “Nope!” Replies the young man.

Suddenly, Carrie gets on her feet and says, “I don’t live too far from here. Would you like to come spend the night at my house? I am sure my parents will not mind at all.” “Thank you but I don’t think your home is cozy enough if you’re out here in the dark and would much rather not talk about it. Besides, I would hate for my Mom or Jamie and Jeannie to come looking for me and not know where to find me. You go on. Thank you.” “Jamie and Jeannie?” Asks Carrie. “Yes, we hang out over here twice a week before going home.” Says the young man. “Home? I don’t understand? Didn’t you just say that”… and before Carrie finishes, the young man interjects, “Yeah, yeah. The Landlord put me out, but I have ways of sneaking back unnoticed. Carrie laughs, covers her mouth with the tips of her right fore and middle fingers, apologizes, then asks him to continue. “Jamie and Jeannie are siblings”, he goes on. “They are new to this country. Joe, the shelter’s security guard and I usually escort them back to their refugee camp on Wednesday night. It’s their only chance to enjoy strolling through the city, so we usually meet here at six o’clock in the evening. A couple of weeks ago, in the corner of 20th street and 6th avenue North, while walking home, I saw some unusual activity and dialed 911. The cops managed to rescue Jeannie from a gang of rapists, but her friend Miley, wasn’t so lucky. It’s a dark world out here. Hurry on home.”

Just then, Carrie realizes that her Sister’s death, dropping out of school and running away from home are as detrimental to her Mom’s health as her cancer diagnosis! If she goes back home, then her Mom will find the extra ounce of strength to fight the cancer. “Come with me, please. Your friends can come too.” She pleads with the young man once more. “No, thank you. Go on home girl.” He replies. “I will check on you tomorrow then.” Says Carrie. She hangs her backpack over her shoulders and begins to run. As the gap between them widens, she looks back at the young man and shouts, “I am Carrie, by the way and am such an idiot!” Smiling, he waves at her and shouts, “It’s nice to meet you Carrie. I am Gale.” She smiles and continues to run as he watches her disappear into the horizon. She rings the doorbell, her Dad opens the door, she rolls her eyes, then heads straight for the stairs! The truth is, she’s too embarrassed to face her parents right now, but knowing that she’s home safe and sound, takes one load off their shoulders!

As she unpacks her bag and enjoys settling in freedom, she looks through her window and notices an argument between two people in her next door neighbor’s kitchen. She’s absolutely sure that one of them is her aunt, Mary’s Mom, well because, that’s her house, but she can’t quite identify the other young looking fella. She hadn’t seen him before, but something about his body posture seems familiar. To satisfy her curiosity, she draws near for a closer look and again for a clearer one! ‘Holy Moly!” she whispers to herself. Suddenly, she clasps her mouth with both her palms, and runs downstairs shouting, “no,no, no, no, no.”

She storms out of the door, and hurries straight to her aunt’s house. She uses the sidewalk to the kitchen window, waves at both of them and signals them to open the door. As soon as her aunt lets her in, she says “Cousin Molly? Is that you?” “It’s me Carrie, but I go by Maurice now”, says Cousin Molly. Carrie gives Maurice a warm embrace and says, “Well then Maurice, ten years is a long time! It’s really good to see you! Welcome home.” “Guess that makes the two of us!” Says Maurice. The two let out a hearty laughter as Maurice extends an invitation to Carrie for a quick drive to the hospital to pick up Mary from her appointment. Carrie gives her aunt a hug and whispers in her ears, “Don’t be too hard on her!” And the two young adults head on their way.

Over time, the two families had been able to reconcile their differences and restore their broken relationship by God’s Grace. These cousins had been born and raised together and no matter how severe the friction rub between their families, love had conquered!

It has been a long wait for Mary at the ER. She needs a breath of fresh air, and just as she steps outside of the double front doors, she notices a young couple seeming to have an argument not too far from where she’s standing. When he sees her, the young man lowers his voice, but Mary still manages to hear him say, “I am so sorry honey, it won’t happen again. I promise, it was an accident. I didn’t mean to do it.” The young lady upon noticing Mary, pushes the young man aside, and makes her way through the double front doors. The young man stands there agitated, for a while, then leaves. Mary comes back in to notice the bruises on the young lady’s right eye and suddenly, her eyes and heart sink! The pressure of this long ER wait is beginning to surmount! Just as she contemplates leaving, the nurse calls her name. She’s ecstatic to finally leave the waiting room!

A week later, Mary gets a follow up phone call from the hospital. It’s not good. Her baby boy has a very rare congenital defect. It may be fatal to both her and the baby! She has a tough decision to make! She’s crushed! And so is her supportive family! Remembering aunt Judy’s words of wisdom, she makes up her mind to keep the baby. She chooses to trust in a loving God whom she’s come to know. Both their future is in His Hands!

In honor of the just concluded women’s month, I would like to honor Mary, the protagonist in this figment of my imagination! In one way or another, her dynamic character reveals the nature of the different hard faces we wear as women. Her story may have barely scratched the surface of your experiences, but irrespective of how closely or not it resonates, I want you to believe that you are not alone.

It’s April fools! In your vulnerability, be watchful that the enemy may not lure you into his lair with reckless innuendos. No matter how sweet the sound of his voice, he is a liar! Embrace your pain as you search out the heart of God in your matter and take heed to remain strong. You are preparing the fertile ground for your breakthrough. You may be tempted to be angry, malicious, inflict pain on those who have wronged you, be jealous, cuss, et cetera. Confront your emotions by letting God know exactly how you feel. That way, you can enjoy the pleasure of fooling the devil instead, into thinking that he’s got you really good! You can’t get rid of what you don’t possess. To my understanding, as creatures of habit, these are natural responses to our circumstances. They only become toxic when we allow them to consume us.
But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Colossians 3:8